My Landlord Expects Me to Pay Rent Every Single Month?!

Let me first start off by saying that I thought this was America. Clearly, I am gravely mistaken. In the America I know and love, extortion is illegal. I am not sure what changed, but I guess there are forms of legal extortion now.

I just got off the phone with my landlord because he was asking where last month's rent is. Needless to say, I had no idea what he was talking about. I told him I've already paid him a few times over the last year since I moved in. Then he made the most preposterous, ridiculous statement I have ever heard:

You have to pay rent every month.

What the hell?! The unmitigated audacity to say such a thing...I am shocked. I was quite taken back, so I asked him, "Just how many months are you expecting me to pay you?"

"Uh, every month until your lease is up and you move out," he said in a tone I didn't much appreciate. He's acting like this is a normal thing to give some random person money every month for no reason. I mean, the apartment is already built, and it's not like he's doing anything to make it better.

So, like any other normal, rational human being with a lick of common sense, I asked him, "What happens if I refuse to pay you your 'rent fee' or whatever it is called?"

I hope your sitting down for this one...

I'll have you evicted.

Wow, my mistake. I can't believe extortion like this exists. What, is he in the Mafia? Do I have to pay him every month for protection too? Plus, is 'evicted' even politically correct? My goodness.

I asked a few of my neighbors who all said they have to pay every single month as well. What I want to know is where exactly is all this 'rent' money going? I need to get in on this whole 'letting people live in an apartment you own and then extorting money from them every single month by threatening eviction.'